Why Women?

jurica-koletic-321003

Before we dive in, I’d like to start the same way Sarah Bessey started in her book, “Jesus Feminist”, by relaxing our fists and resting in our worth. The more we fight for a seat at the table (you know, the table, where all the important decision makers sit), the more angst we feel and less heard we are.

Knowing your value means accepting it and exuding it, despite (and sometimes in spite) of what others tell us. We don’t need other people to validate us or give us position.

We all know positional authority is the weakest, so why do we keep striving for it? Relax. Know that you are valuable (silence that nagging voice in your head), and lean back. You were created for good and great things (Eph 2:10)

Now that that’s said….

Let’s talk about women. How are we made? What is our purpose? How can God use us?

Let’s go back to the beginning. Genesis 1: 26-27:

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,a]”>[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them

God created male and female together. To rule over the earth and to subdue it, as a partnership. It was not good for them to operate alone, they both have a lot to offer the other and it is better when they operate together.

Let’s dive a little deeper. Genesis 2:18:

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The word “helper” here is Ezer Kenegdo, meaning “to rescue, to be strong”. There are 21 exact representations of Ezer Kenegdo in scripture, and 16 of them are in relation to God rescuing (“The Lord is my help” Psalm 54:4 for example). 

This is how you are made. Fiercely feminine. A marvelous mixture of strength and beauty. You lead because you were made to. You are a discipler, leader, encourager, project manager, chef, accountant, teacher, counselor, makeup artist, handyman, interior decorator, and a fill in the blank with anything that needs to get done-er, and that’s all just inside of your home!

I may not know you, but I can tell you this much without having to…

You are strong. You are fierce. And you are lovely.

Even in a world where #metoo is as common as “I had lunch today”, we prevail. Even when we’re told we can’t have authority, we prevail. Even when we’re told to be silent, we prevail. We sit on buses and refuse to be less than, we stoop down low and feed orphans and the poor, we stand up tall and lead armies into victory,  we sit in the quiet and write truth with bravery and fortitude, we speak up for the marginalized and change the world.

Do you even know how strong you are? Do you even know how much is within you? When God created you, He called you RESCUER. He named you STRENGTH.

All too often we equate strength with masculinity, but meet a woman who survived an abusive man and tell me she’s not strong. Meet a woman who raised 3 kids and tell me she’s not strong. Meet a woman who worked to feed her babies and tell me she’s not strong. Meet a woman and threaten her babies, and tell me she’s not strong.

There is nothing wrong with being feminine, but it does not mean you are frail. There is nothing wrong with being strong, but it does not mean you are not feminine.

If we can agree that men and women are different, then we can also agree that so much is missing when women are not a part of it. 

We’re asking the wrong question when we ask, “should women be allowed to _______?” We should be asking, “what are we missing if they don’t?”

unsplash-logoJurica Koletić

Baby Ranson Is Coming!

WorthTheWait-2

The past couple of years have taught me two things: One, suffering well isn’t easy, but God always shows up. And two, celebration and grief are hard to experience at the same time. For those of you awaiting your own miracle, I pray celebration finds it’s way across your doorstep. The journey is difficult, but the nearness of God can be the most tangible, and real life preserver we’ll ever have.

 

I wish I had space to tell you all of the wonderful ways God has met us the last few months. Even though our hearts were weary, and our faith wavered, He never stopped running after us to say, as He always has, “I’ve got this. I have YOU.”

We are now in our second trimester, 4 healthy & happy ultrasounds under our belt, and ready to tell the world that BABY RANSON IS COMING!

One of the beautiful things about suffering, is how God always redeems it. We have suffered hard, and now I want to CELEBRATE hard.

I’m still wrestling with what God has to say about suffering, and loss, and hope. I can’t explain it, I can’t promise that all my desires and longings will come to fruition. But I’m trying to find that balance of being patiently expectant, and keeping my hands open.

I am so grateful that we get to start this new journey. Before we moved to Michigan, we had someone speak over us that we were to be moving into a new season of family, that I would be a Mama, and that it would play a big role in the next season of our lives. I had no idea how much of a role it would play, but I knew, one way or another, I WOULD be a Mama. And my husband would be a Dad. I am so incredibly grateful that it’s like this.

Baby Ranson, your Dad and I have prayed and hoped and prepared for you!  Your Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, spiritual family, have prayed so hard for you. You are so wanted, and so loved ALREADY. We can’t wait to meet you! Now please just eat good and sleep well, okay?

Love, Your over-the-moon-for-you-already Mom & Dad.

P.S. This is your Dad’s attempt to smile…he’s cute 🙂

WorthTheWait-3

Traveling Spouses & Ten Things That Always Happen

For any of you whose spouse travels for work, can I get a “It’s totally awesome and equally totally sucks” high five?! My husband travels for work, about every other week, and this week he’s been gone ALL WEEK. There’s a strange paradox of freedom and loneliness/stress that accompanies a traveling spouse. I don’t know what your list looks like, but when my husband is out of town, these things ALWAYS happen.

1.) Binge Marathon of my favorite shows: This time, it was Gilmore Girls. Episode after episode of he-would-never-put-up-with-this tv watching. I remember being *ahem* “younger”, and staying up until midnight while watching a TV show was a regular thing. Well being married to a Go-To-Bed-Early-To-Wake-Up-Early husband has drastically changed that. 

Image

2.) Eat like a teenager: I mean, why cook for JUST ME? Meals usually consist of chicken fingers, Mac & Cheese, or cereal. However this time around, I did manage to cook ONE meal, but that’s because my vegetables were going to go bad and I hate wasting food and money. But he’s been gone ALL week, and I’ve cooked one meal. So, there’s that. 

Speaking of meals, these text happen a lot. I mean, really?

Image

3.) The dog is on her worst behavior: I mean, it must be a game. Somehow, she is ALWAYS the biggest poop face in the world when it’s just me to deal with her. Does she think it’s funny? I certainly DO NOT. She won’t go to the bathroom when I take her out, but she WILL go on my carpet. Alright, I get it, the man in charge isn’t here, but can we just be on the same team?! SMH.

Image

4.) Realize how much he does around the house: It’s trash day, and the husband’s not home. The garbage can is pinned between the car and the lawn mower. How does he get that out?! I’m not sure, he’ll have to show me NEXT WEEK. The recycling is pilled high to the ceiling. How am I supposed to put that all out to the curb? It’s delicately balanced against the wall. I realize it’s going to be even worse for him NEXT WEEK. Our grass looks TERRIBLE. Eh, it can wait until NEXT WEEK. 

Image

5.) Stay up until midnight: I don’t know why, but I just CAN’T go to bed on time when he’s not here to force me to. It’s SO WEIRD and I don’t even want to stay up that late, but I ALWAYS do. 

6.) Take a lot of selfie’s with our dog: For one, he misses BOTH of our faces, obviously. So we must take pictures to remind him of our faces. Also, she’s my closest companion during these times, and we totally bond over pictures. We’re incredibly fond of them.  Alright, if we’re being honest(and this extends to the rest of my life), I way too mindful of my narcism to take selfie’s, so I can cushion the impact by also including my dog. Hello, it’s my super cute dog, I just happen to be in the picture WITH HER. You guys, it’s so totally not about me.

Image

7.) “When my husband goes out of town it’s great because I get to catch up on all the loneliness I forgot exists inside of me.” That’s a direct quote from Twitter, and I just can’t word it any better than that.

8.) I DO A LOT MORE THINGS: Realizing that I have the entire evening to myself, no one that I have to talk to/interact with/entertain/feed, I can suddenly do ALL THE THINGS, and I do. I shop here, brunch there, drive there, see this, go do that, then get home to collapse and vegetate. Oh yeah, THAT’S what being single was like.  

9.) Sleep freaking beautifully: Despite the fact that I don’t get to bed until midnight, I sleep SO FREAKING GOOD. This deserves a blog post in and of itself, but there’s is nothing ROMANTIC about sharing a bed with a husband that flops like a fish in the middle of the night, or steals your covers or flails his arms on your face. Nothing. So when he’s out of town, it’s a deep breath of relief to know that tonight, I will actually sleep through the night. And my covers will look almost exactly how they did the night before. Also, HOW EASY IT IS to make the bed without a tumbling human. o_O

***I can hear all of the parents rolling their eyes at my absurd lavishness and thinking your “just you wait” thoughts. They’re hitting me all the way over here. It’s all relative people, and someday, I’ll write a blog about how lucky I was to only deal with a floppy fish husband and “if only I had known…” But I DO KNOW, I realize that I am fortunate to get any sleep through the night, and to sleep in past 7 AM, so just let me soak in my naivety, smile and nod, and I’ll catch up to you.

9.) Shower way less often: Before you get grossed out, I shower….but okay, no I don’t really shower. Who am I showering for?! The general public? Ha. NO. The general public doesn’t care if my hair smells like fresh flowers and there’s no one getting closer enough to notice anyway. I’m saving water. Conserving shower supplies. Caring about the planet. Conservation, people.

10.) Desperately clean the house an hour before he gets home: Of COURSE honey, you’ve been gone all this time and it’s given me so much time to just clean and tidy up and no way were my clothes strewn all over the couch, and sure I folded and put away the laundry as soon as I washed it. Is it wrinkled? It must be the fabric, it definitely did not sit in the dryer for three days and get run on three different cycles. Nope, not that.

WELCOME HOME.

 

Christmas Card Bloopers

We’ve decided, as a tradition, to make a Christmas Card as a family every year. We’ll get to see how our family changes and grows, not to mention it’s fun! But everyone always gets to see the finished, polished result with the ONE shot that actually worked out of the 127 that you took. So I thought it would be neat to post (a few) of the ones that didn’t make the cut.

1.) No image is needed for the biggest blooper. I shot all of these photos on Aperture priority, which COULD be great, except that it set my ISO at 1250 and nearly all the pictures came out incredibly grainy. Lesson #1.

2.) Our nearly white dog insisted on just laying down in the white snow. Adorable.

Image

3.) She also spent several takes eating said snow. I considered getting down to join her.Image

4.) We took at least 20 shots not realizing Oakley wasn’t even in them. But it didn’t really matter. She spent most of the time staring at us wondering why we were constantly talking at her.

Image

5.) This is Geoff grabbing her face, hoping that by doing so and saying “Just look at the camera!” will somehow form in her mind how to pose appropriately. (It doesn’t work.)

Image

6.) Now, we’ve figured out the composition issues, but we haven’t figured out our canine ones. Getting Oakley to sit, stay sat, and look in the right direction was a challenge. Geoff’s patience was wearing thin.

Image

7.) We’re about to give up. Maybe we should resort to plan B: Hold Dog.

Image

8.) But the humor of the situation has given us extra resolve. We try again. But there are just too many smells and sounds and the wind is blowing east. Too many distractions.

Image

9.) Which leads us to literally the LAST PHOTO OF THE DAY which ends up being our winner. While grainy, the pose is perfect, and that’s all we can ask for.

Image