Mother’s Day Mess

The first Mother’s Day after my first miscarriage, I skipped church and slept in.

I get to celebrate Mother’s Day now, but it wasn’t always that way. I remember when we were trying to have kids, how much I wanted to celebrate the Mamas around me, but it always felt like getting too close to a jellyfish. You can’t see the beauty and not feel the sting.

As we near another Mother’s Day, I hope that it finds you well. I hope that the prayers you’ve prayed have been answered and that the unanswered ones are still full of hope as you speak them. Read More…

Redefining Warrior

Warriors come in all shapes and sizes.

Warriors come in all forms of personality and gender and race and socioeconomic statuses.

But today I want to talk about the warriors that are unseen.

All too often we see strength as the loudest voice, the strongest personality, the puffed chest. But when Jesus came to earth He showed us an entirely different kind of strength.

The kind of strength that is less concerned about potential, and more concerned about mission. Jesus never lived up to his potential, rather he humbled himself and fulfilled his mission.

And thank God he did.

Mother Teresa said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”

In other words, it’s not programs and buildings that need our attention. It’s people. If we don’t have the time for each other, we’re missing the whole point.

Programs and buildings may bring recognition. The world’s view of success is tempting. It’s validating. It quenches the ache in me that says “I’m only as worthy as they say I am.”

But if I’m living by the praise of man, then I’ll also fall by his criticism.

It hit me hard when I realized I would rather prove myself worthy than have to receive my worth from God. 😳

I take a look around me, at powerful and influential people who the world may never know their names. People who are generating disciples and changing lives because they’re not climbing ladders but believing in themselves enough to stoop low and love well.

I want to be more like them. I want to be more like Jesus.

So pause for just a moment. Forget about your potential.

What’s your mission?





“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” – Philippians 2:3-4 (MSG)

 Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash


Mom Guilt

If you’re a parent, particularly if you’re female, you’ve felt it. The tug and pull of career and parenting. Especially if kids come at an older stage. It’s one of the things I think about the most, and one of the things I talk about the most with other Moms.

Everyone has their opinions, their justifications, and their reasonings. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about it, and depending on the day, am riddled with worry or jubilant with gratitude.

We’ve made the choice for our daughter to be in school, two 1/2 days and 3 full days a week. She’s in a great school with great teachers and an environment that fits her perfectly. But I’m not the only one raising her.

Some days that’s a tough pill to swallow.

Here’s 3 reasons why we chose school:

1.) I’m an “all in” kind of person. I dive deep and I stay there. When Emma was born, one thing her Dad and I agreed on, is that we didn’t want to lose ourselves in being her Mom and Dad. That our relationship with God and with each other would still have to come first. That I wouldn’t find my identity in Motherhood but rather discover new pieces of my identity through it. That being a Mom would simply show new sides of me, instead of being the new me.

2.) One of my biggest wounds is the fear of abandonment. Like a shark with blood in the water I can sense abandonment or rejection a mile away, and have had to learn how to walk through potentially painful moments instead of running away from them. (This is the only sense in which I would ever claim to be a runner lol)

I had no idea, but leaving Emma at school made me realize how much I had placed that fear on her. I was crippled with the thought of her feeling alone. I had to face that fear every day. Fear is not my leader, and fear will not direct my steps. So together, we showed up. And she showed me that my personal fears are not hers. What a valuable lesson to learn!

3.) I’m the best Mom when I’m the best Meagan. If I am not mindful of self-care, it’s a quick downward spiral towards depression and agitation. Some may call it selfish (believe me the accusations in my head have tried), but taking a few hours a week for myself has been the best thing for us.

A wise friend recently told me that our lives change entirely every 6 months as parents.

So whatever decision you’ve made, whatever season you’re in, nothing is permanent. This gave me a lot of peace of mind as we made our choice. Whatever you’re doing now, it isn’t forever.

And the best news yet? You’re a great Mom no matter what you choose.