To The Guy at The Morning Owl Cafe,
I need to apologize to you. When I visited the other day, my friend and I shared how we had met through our church and you made the comment that you “can’t go near a church, or you would catch on fire or get struck with lightening.”
My response to you was not what it should have been, it was not what I want it to be. And it is gnawing at me and sitting on my chest like a brick. I’m thinking about coming back to you, to say these things. I’m not sure I even remember what you look like (remembering faces is not really my thing…). But I’m going to write these down. And hopefully you see them or someone sends them to you or we see each other again and I won’t make the same mistake twice.
When you said that, my instant concern was not you, it was me. I was weird and totally self-centered. I wanted you to see me as a cool, casual church girl because I have this weird phobia that everyone thinks people who go to church are weird and out of touch with reality. So I get weird, and I take it from phobia to fact.
What I SHOULD have said is that there is nothing in your past, present, or future that could keep you from Jesus. Why? Because he already knows (even the stuff NOBODY ELSE KNOWS) and he’s still fighting for you. Maybe me showing up and mentioning church to you was a tiny whisper reminding you that those places still exist and I was supposed to ask you to come. Maybe Jesus was bringing the church to you, and I failed in letting him.
I should have told you that, in fact, the reason you’re scared to meet with Jesus is the very reason he wants to meet with you. If you read about Jesus, he never spent his time with perfect people (fun fact: there aren’t any) and he totally slammed the people who tried to act like they were. He said, “the broken, the lost, the wandering…those are MY people…” (I’m paraphrasing here.)
That’s me. And that’s you.
I should have said, “Well shouldn’t that be the case with all of us? None of us deserve what Jesus is offering, but that’s the beauty. We’re all just a bunch of broken people who follow Jesus because he loves us. I wouldn’t be worried about catching on fire…unless you go to a Christmas Eve candlelight service, then be very skeptical and don’t use hairspray.”
So, guy at the Morning Owl Cafe, Jesus loves you. He freaking DIED for you. That will never change, and how he feels about you will never change. I hope you give this church thing, this God thing, a chance. Because he’s pretty great (severe understatement but I’m still trying to be a little cool) he’s kinda crazy about you.
Girl who ordered a hot chocolate
P.S. Thank you for offering to serve it to me at a kids temperature. That was really nice. And totally unnecessary. (Slash please keep doing that…)