Beauty Store Woes

I don’t know about you, but every time I am in a make-up or some sort of “Improve how you look” store, I feel so totally judged. This is probably all on me, and my tendency to be overly self-critical, but I mean REALLY.

I feel like every interaction goes something like this…

Associate: “Now HERE’s a powder that will help give you that CLEAR COMPLEXION, and you know hide any spots if you need to.”

What I’m thinking: “Can they see my spots? Is that why he’s saying that? Oh God, my spots are showing. Hurry, stay away from direct sunlight, they might see MORE SPOTS!”

What I say: “Oh, yes. That sounds very nice. You know I didn’t take the time to put on my makeup before I came in today (insert forced laugh), I think I’ll just take a look around (Distract! Disctract!).”

Associate: “Now I’ve just got to tell you about this new mascara that we just got in. It gives you great volume, but it doesn’t clump like a lot of other masceras…”

What I’m thinking: “OMG my mascara is clumpy. I knew it was clumpy! Crap, they saw my clumpy mascara. Maybe if I keep turning my head from side to side she won’t be able to see my clumpy eyelashes…”

What I say: “Wow, that’s great! (Look left at something) I’m always looking for a good mascara. (Look down at something) I just keep trying new ones, (Look right at something) you never know what you’re gonna get…Thanks for your help anyway.”

Then I quickly turn my back so they can’t judge my lack of bronzer or my more than likely inappropriate color of blush. WHY oh WHY did I only put on a BB cream on THIS DAY of all days.

Just so you guys know, I don’t NORMALLY let my spots show like that. I know I have spots, and thank you for recommending the $45.00 spot reducing cream, I’m sure it’s really something.

Maybe someday I’ll walk in, face fully done, hair beautifully blown out, and THEY’LL ASK ME for consults instead of the other way around. They’ll say, “Wow, that girl has perfectly voluminous eyelashes (they’ll be fake of course, but they don’t know that because they’re done so well) and NO SPOTS! Amazing. She must use that spot reducing cream. But no, surely we can’t ask her because then she’ll see OUR spots and OUR clumpy eyelashes! Let’s just let our jaws drop and give her a girl-you-got-it nod as she walks by.”

Yep. The jaw drop + nod combo. That’s how you know you’re killin it.

But then I’ll stop and let them know that I’m okay with everything about them, because it took me three hours to get this way, and let’s be honest, that’s just too much. And that next time I’ll come back in with all my spots and imperfections and let them tell me how to fix them, and I’ll smile and nod and try to remember that I’m cool with all of it. Because that’s what I’ve got going on. And holy crap, it’s too stressful and consuming to try to hide it all. 

There’s this children’s book called, “Are You a Cow”, after asking if you are a cow or a pig or a chicken upside-down, it says, “YOU MUST BE YOU, now isn’t that great.” I’m working really hard to find the freedom in just being me, spots and all, and letting the rest of it go. Phew. That’s hard work. But it’s good work.

So work hard to find the freedom in just being you. Because YOU are GREAT. 



Humans Are Incredible

I spotted this video that went viral on Facebook today, and (I know I’m emotional) it brought tears to my eyes. Three strangers outside of a Kroger started jamming on the spot, and it SOUNDS AMAZING.

I follow this blog called, “Humans of New York”, the first of many replications, and I am constantly reminded of people’s crazy stories, talents and lives. Strangers that you pass by on the street have complex stories weaved with heartache and love and struggle. Seeing their faces tied to excerpts of their stories usually leaves me in awe of the human race and how diverse we are.

Also, that we’re never alone.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this on Sunday’s, when I’m volunteering at church. How everyone that walks through those doors has a different story, and a different reason why they are there. In the sea of people, there are so many questions, so many tears that have been cried or anger that hasn’t been released, or forgiveness that hasn’t been had or freedom that hasn’t been found. The single mom whose ironically been singled out by her community, the confused teenager who has no idea who they are, the overwhelmed Dad who feels like a total failure.


And that is why I want to look at people with open arms and to be able to say, “I have no idea what it is like to be you, but I’m sure it can be tough, and I’m sure you fail at it, but I’m also sure that you are freaking amazing.” Because, you are.

The talent of these three totally random guys, is shake-your-head-in-amazement wonderful. And we might never have gotten to see the beauty behind the rags so to speak, had they not let us. There is beauty in all of us, God DELIGHTS in us (it says so in Zephaniah 3:17), because we are all wonderfully made. (David talks about that is Psalm 139:14.)

So I love to see the beauty shine through, and to soak it in. Because that stranger on the street, the nameless person sitting next to you in church, or the dude with a guitar outside of Kroger…sometimes, you just don’t know.

P.S. If you want to check out Humans of New York, you can find it here: