Month: November 2014

Thanksgiving season is upon us! Thanksgiving is supposed to be about what we are thankful for. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) all I usually think about it the delicious food I am about to devour.

I have never really been good at being grateful. I very much so struggle with staring at the world through a lens of scarcity. I am more and more learning how to stop scavenging and to start giving. When I feel like I have nothing, or I am nothing, to serve or encourage someone else has been my way out of it. It is SO HARD. It is sometimes scary. Okay, it is mostly scary. But I always, always, always, walk away a little more free.

I read a book recently that taught me a lot about gratitude. It spoke to the heart change that happens when you discipline yourself to be grateful for what you already have.

Sometimes, it just the way the light reflects off the bubbles in a endless sink of dishes. But there’s always something to be grateful for.

I’m sure there’s some big spiritual theology behind gratitude and what it does for us. All I know is that when I am feeling negative and depression is knocking on my front door, if I start to think of things I am grateful for, it acts like repellent. Gratitude and negativity cannot live together, and gratitude ALWAYS wins.

The most wonderful thing is that when I discipline myself to look for these things, the things I am grateful for, then I somehow start to naturally see them. I notice the brilliant colors of the trees on my drive home from the grocery store. I soak in the conversations with friends that make me feel whole again, I cherish quiet mornings with a cup of coffee.

So our family started doing two things:

We created a grateful board, and hung it up in our house.

G and I, and anyone who comes into our home, can write down what they’re grateful for. It serves as a constant reminder to look for beauty and blessings, and as a reminder of what we already have. I stare at it often.

We ask each other, “What is something good that happened to you today?”

Often, it’s easy to complain about our day. The first thing we want to share is the crap. What we dealt with. But we also need to talk about, and remember the bright spots. Remove some of the weight of darkness by shining some light on it.

This season, I hope to continue to focus on the things I am grateful for. The memories I get to make. The people I get to be with. And I hope that focusing on those things gets easier. I am thankful for the beauty that is naturally around me every day, and I’m hopeful that I’ll continue to see more of it.

Tonight, I watched the sunset from a rooftop with 180 degree view of an ocean marsh, while wrapped in a warm blanket and sipping a glass of red wine.

When I was a kid, I don’t think I ever noticed sunsets. Not once.

When you are young, all of these things go unnoticed. You are busy, focused on self. But as you age, you realize hope is sometimes differed, dreams are sometimes shattered, and love is sometimes lost. You realize that life is hard, marriage is not a fairy tale, and we can sometimes be our own worst enemy. But when you grow, you also start to slow down. You realize that while life is hard, it is also short. You start to pay attention to the things that bring you joy and peace, and seek them out.

That’s the thing about growing up. You have a lot of heartache, you walk through really tough things, but you also learn to slow down. You learn to stop and watch the sunset. You will cry, but then you breathe in deep and see that beauty is always around you. No matter what storm you are in, there is always a sunset (and a sunrise). Thank God for that.

When I was in college, broke, lonely, and confused about just about everything, I walked to park and sat on a tree. I looked at a creek and a waterfall and the leaves changing colors as they fell to the ground in a blanket of brilliant shades. I thought, “This costs me nothing. I don’t have to work for it, I don’t have to pay for it, I don’t need a companion for it. And this makes me happy. It’s beautiful! Wherever I am, I will always have this”.

That thought brought me so much comfort and peace, knowing that beauty and happiness is available to me if I just slow down to notice it.

No matter what my circumstances are, what trouble I may have, I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS.

“I’m asking God for one thing,
    only one thing:
To live with him in his house
    my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
    I’ll study at his feet.”

-Psalm 27:4