Traveling Spouses & Ten Things That Always Happen

For any of you whose spouse travels for work, can I get a “It’s totally awesome and equally totally sucks” high five?! My husband travels for work, about every other week, and this week he’s been gone ALL WEEK. There’s a strange paradox of freedom and loneliness/stress that accompanies a traveling spouse. I don’t know what your list looks like, but when my husband is out of town, these things ALWAYS happen.

1.) Binge Marathon of my favorite shows: This time, it was Gilmore Girls. Episode after episode of he-would-never-put-up-with-this tv watching. I remember being *ahem* “younger”, and staying up until midnight while watching a TV show was a regular thing. Well being married to a Go-To-Bed-Early-To-Wake-Up-Early husband has drastically changed that. 

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2.) Eat like a teenager: I mean, why cook for JUST ME? Meals usually consist of chicken fingers, Mac & Cheese, or cereal. However this time around, I did manage to cook ONE meal, but that’s because my vegetables were going to go bad and I hate wasting food and money. But he’s been gone ALL week, and I’ve cooked one meal. So, there’s that. 

Speaking of meals, these text happen a lot. I mean, really?

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3.) The dog is on her worst behavior: I mean, it must be a game. Somehow, she is ALWAYS the biggest poop face in the world when it’s just me to deal with her. Does she think it’s funny? I certainly DO NOT. She won’t go to the bathroom when I take her out, but she WILL go on my carpet. Alright, I get it, the man in charge isn’t here, but can we just be on the same team?! SMH.

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4.) Realize how much he does around the house: It’s trash day, and the husband’s not home. The garbage can is pinned between the car and the lawn mower. How does he get that out?! I’m not sure, he’ll have to show me NEXT WEEK. The recycling is pilled high to the ceiling. How am I supposed to put that all out to the curb? It’s delicately balanced against the wall. I realize it’s going to be even worse for him NEXT WEEK. Our grass looks TERRIBLE. Eh, it can wait until NEXT WEEK. 

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5.) Stay up until midnight: I don’t know why, but I just CAN’T go to bed on time when he’s not here to force me to. It’s SO WEIRD and I don’t even want to stay up that late, but I ALWAYS do. 

6.) Take a lot of selfie’s with our dog: For one, he misses BOTH of our faces, obviously. So we must take pictures to remind him of our faces. Also, she’s my closest companion during these times, and we totally bond over pictures. We’re incredibly fond of them.  Alright, if we’re being honest(and this extends to the rest of my life), I way too mindful of my narcism to take selfie’s, so I can cushion the impact by also including my dog. Hello, it’s my super cute dog, I just happen to be in the picture WITH HER. You guys, it’s so totally not about me.

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7.) “When my husband goes out of town it’s great because I get to catch up on all the loneliness I forgot exists inside of me.” That’s a direct quote from Twitter, and I just can’t word it any better than that.

8.) I DO A LOT MORE THINGS: Realizing that I have the entire evening to myself, no one that I have to talk to/interact with/entertain/feed, I can suddenly do ALL THE THINGS, and I do. I shop here, brunch there, drive there, see this, go do that, then get home to collapse and vegetate. Oh yeah, THAT’S what being single was like.  

9.) Sleep freaking beautifully: Despite the fact that I don’t get to bed until midnight, I sleep SO FREAKING GOOD. This deserves a blog post in and of itself, but there’s is nothing ROMANTIC about sharing a bed with a husband that flops like a fish in the middle of the night, or steals your covers or flails his arms on your face. Nothing. So when he’s out of town, it’s a deep breath of relief to know that tonight, I will actually sleep through the night. And my covers will look almost exactly how they did the night before. Also, HOW EASY IT IS to make the bed without a tumbling human. o_O

***I can hear all of the parents rolling their eyes at my absurd lavishness and thinking your “just you wait” thoughts. They’re hitting me all the way over here. It’s all relative people, and someday, I’ll write a blog about how lucky I was to only deal with a floppy fish husband and “if only I had known…” But I DO KNOW, I realize that I am fortunate to get any sleep through the night, and to sleep in past 7 AM, so just let me soak in my naivety, smile and nod, and I’ll catch up to you.

9.) Shower way less often: Before you get grossed out, I shower….but okay, no I don’t really shower. Who am I showering for?! The general public? Ha. NO. The general public doesn’t care if my hair smells like fresh flowers and there’s no one getting closer enough to notice anyway. I’m saving water. Conserving shower supplies. Caring about the planet. Conservation, people.

10.) Desperately clean the house an hour before he gets home: Of COURSE honey, you’ve been gone all this time and it’s given me so much time to just clean and tidy up and no way were my clothes strewn all over the couch, and sure I folded and put away the laundry as soon as I washed it. Is it wrinkled? It must be the fabric, it definitely did not sit in the dryer for three days and get run on three different cycles. Nope, not that.

WELCOME HOME.

 

Beauty Store Woes

I don’t know about you, but every time I am in a make-up or some sort of “Improve how you look” store, I feel so totally judged. This is probably all on me, and my tendency to be overly self-critical, but I mean REALLY.

I feel like every interaction goes something like this…

Associate: “Now HERE’s a powder that will help give you that CLEAR COMPLEXION, and you know hide any spots if you need to.”

What I’m thinking: “Can they see my spots? Is that why he’s saying that? Oh God, my spots are showing. Hurry, stay away from direct sunlight, they might see MORE SPOTS!”

What I say: “Oh, yes. That sounds very nice. You know I didn’t take the time to put on my makeup before I came in today (insert forced laugh), I think I’ll just take a look around (Distract! Disctract!).”

Associate: “Now I’ve just got to tell you about this new mascara that we just got in. It gives you great volume, but it doesn’t clump like a lot of other masceras…”

What I’m thinking: “OMG my mascara is clumpy. I knew it was clumpy! Crap, they saw my clumpy mascara. Maybe if I keep turning my head from side to side she won’t be able to see my clumpy eyelashes…”

What I say: “Wow, that’s great! (Look left at something) I’m always looking for a good mascara. (Look down at something) I just keep trying new ones, (Look right at something) you never know what you’re gonna get…Thanks for your help anyway.”

Then I quickly turn my back so they can’t judge my lack of bronzer or my more than likely inappropriate color of blush. WHY oh WHY did I only put on a BB cream on THIS DAY of all days.

Just so you guys know, I don’t NORMALLY let my spots show like that. I know I have spots, and thank you for recommending the $45.00 spot reducing cream, I’m sure it’s really something.

Maybe someday I’ll walk in, face fully done, hair beautifully blown out, and THEY’LL ASK ME for consults instead of the other way around. They’ll say, “Wow, that girl has perfectly voluminous eyelashes (they’ll be fake of course, but they don’t know that because they’re done so well) and NO SPOTS! Amazing. She must use that spot reducing cream. But no, surely we can’t ask her because then she’ll see OUR spots and OUR clumpy eyelashes! Let’s just let our jaws drop and give her a girl-you-got-it nod as she walks by.”

Yep. The jaw drop + nod combo. That’s how you know you’re killin it.

But then I’ll stop and let them know that I’m okay with everything about them, because it took me three hours to get this way, and let’s be honest, that’s just too much. And that next time I’ll come back in with all my spots and imperfections and let them tell me how to fix them, and I’ll smile and nod and try to remember that I’m cool with all of it. Because that’s what I’ve got going on. And holy crap, it’s too stressful and consuming to try to hide it all. 

There’s this children’s book called, “Are You a Cow”, after asking if you are a cow or a pig or a chicken upside-down, it says, “YOU MUST BE YOU, now isn’t that great.” I’m working really hard to find the freedom in just being me, spots and all, and letting the rest of it go. Phew. That’s hard work. But it’s good work.

So work hard to find the freedom in just being you. Because YOU are GREAT. 

 

 

Love Letter To My Dad

I love this picture of my Dad. It reminds me of the depth of his love, and how genuine he is in. My relationship with my Dad has mostly been complicated, like most people’s. But amidst the “complicated”, I’ve missed the richness that was moving like a strong steady wave beneath the surface.

You guys, relationships are complicated and they are messy. They require painful sacrifice and endless amounts of grace and have no room for judgement. None. If we are always holding people to our standard, we may be asking something of them that they may never be capable of (or shouldn’t be a part of) and will FOREVER MISS OUT on them. We’ll miss sharing jokes over dinner or we’ll have no “remember when’s” because we never have adventures to remember. It’s a lonely and bitter place to sit in, and I’ve been guilty of it more than I want to say.

(Now, I do not mean that this is a healthy step for ALL relationships. It is certainly important to set boundaries, in ANY relationship, let alone ones that tend to be a bit wonky.)

But if we release the expectations, and seek them with humility and grace, we can set aside the pain/disappointment that we keep setting ourselves up for, and we can celebrate the person they are to us.

My dad is a great visionary. He laughs like a hyena that’s choking on its dinner, and you can’t help but laugh with him. My Father is one of the most creative genius’s I know that is capable of nearly anything that he puts his mind to. He gets the biggest kick out of flatulence or anything inappropriate, and really treasures having free time to just PLAY. He builds tree houses and sleeps in them with his kids, dresses up as Spider-Man and takes family pictures in the costume. He takes his daughters on dates so they know what to look for and value in a man, stores up knowledge that he loves loves loves to share, and prays earnestly for his family. One of his favorite things is to cook breakfast for his family, and it’s always amazing. My Dad plays the banjo, and is a third degree black belt. Which means he’s a badass.

He serves us well, and we respect and love him for it.

I can’t wait for people to meet my Dad. I think he is one of the smartest, most interesting, hilarious people that I know, and I couldn’t be more proud. He is so incredibly special to me, and I am rich because of his love.

Thank you Dad, for being my Dad.

Love, Louigie

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We Went to Virginia!

A couple years ago, part of our family moved to this LOVELY little town near Charlottesville, and we finally were able to go and visit. Despite the long drive (which actually didn’t really FEEL like a long drive, but don’t tell my husband I said that), we had a fantastic time! The town is very much like our town, an eclectic college town, except way more historic and way more mountainous.

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We visited the apple orchard from which Erin takes all of these amazing, glorious, I-Want-To-Be-There-Right-Now photos, and it was more than I imagined. Even on the cloudy day, the view was breathtaking. Imagine our joy when we went back on a not so cloudy day a few days later! This place was so much fun, and it was even more fun getting to see the places they LIVE.

Geoff and I even snuck off to check out Monticello. I mean, Monticello. I just finished reading “John Adams” by David McCullough, so my interest was peaked. I love most things that help us travel through time, and being able to step foot in Jefferson’s old home had me so excited I nearly skipped to the visitor center.

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This is us, at the back door that overlooks the garden.

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Years ago, my grandparents gave me a book that they had purchased when THEY visited Monticello. Geoff and I found it! So of course I had to get my picture with it.

But mostly, we just hung out at the house and built legos, momentarily held babies, read books, and just spent time with the people we came to see! Erin might tell you that she frightened us of ever wanting children, but it was the exact opposite. That Oliver, so stinking cute, even if he just wants his Momma right now. But who can blame him, honestly.

Geoff got to hold Oliver for a few minutes, they stared at each other skeptically. It was all very Ranson-esque.

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We also went to the Lake, those Johnson’s have the right idea living on a LAKE. We loved visiting them, and seeing the place they now call home. Times are a changin’, people are a movin’, and it’s good to keep up 🙂